Boned: When You’re Bored in Bed and Don’t Know Where to Go, Explore Your Fantasies
As you may already know, if you’ve read any of my other articles, I’m fairly interested in the sexual process. That means all of its aspects, not just bread-and-butter sex. Which is great; I’ve always got something to talk about with strangers on trains. “Did you know…?” “Well, have you tried this…?” and so on. The only time problems arise is when I start moving towards actual intercourse.
To say I’ve got high standards would, I believe, be an understatement. As much as I’m interested in sex, I’ve mostly stopped having it, simply because I’ve gotten tired of high expectations that have fallen short. Ho, hum, this old thing again? I’ve often wondered if there is a man who can stimulate my mind as well as my body, which, at this point, I’m rather beginning to doubt.
Just Like Art, Sex is Subjective
And I can’t claim it’s the fault of my partner. You can tell a person what you want, but of course, desires are entirely subjective, and one person’s idea of “rough” is another person’s “too easy”. And for those who don’t require mental stimulation, once they get into the act, their mind is so encapsulated with the current goings-ons that they simply can’t continue with whatever you’ve asked them to do, unless it’s already in their nature to do so.
Speaking the Language
And therein lies the problem. How do you tell a person what you want and get your desired result, without a lot of, “No, no, no; you’re doing it wrong!” in the middle? Why, show them a tape of course! And by tape I mean DVD. Because now, there’s a great way to bridge the gap between imagination and actuation for your lackluster lover: showing them exactly what you want.
The Sinclair Institute, a company devoted to bettering sex through information, has a DVD specific to this issue. (SEE:
Exploration of Sexual Fantasies) It includes an introduction to specific techniques in bed, a primer on better oral, anal, and vaginal techniques, playing with toys, role-playing, and even bondage.
Step one: State clearly, “This is the kind of thing I’m talking about.”
Step two: Play your chosen fetish selection on the disc.
Step three: Don’t have yawn-inducing sex anymore.
Hit the Spot
The upside of all of this is that for females showing a video to males, you’re already tapping into their erotic zone. Studies have proven again and again that for men, visuals are the easiest and most powerful way to jumpstart arousal. By giving him a literal glimpse of what you want, he’s more likely to remember it, and to link it subconsciously to arousal—seeing as it features gratuitous female nudity—which in return makes him much more likely to perform to expectations later on.
It might seem weird to prime a guy for sex, but just consider it as another type of foreplay. In reality, for a guy anyhow, it’s quite similar to watching porn. In general, studies show most men in their thirties and younger tend to take a lot of their initial bedroom technique from pornographies anyhow, whereas for women it tends to be a combination of written material and hearsay. Don’t have any guilty feelings over it; your guy certainly won’t.
Anti-Infidelity
And it’s also a relationship saver. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the biggest reasons women express as their choice for pursuing an affair. If things are going well in the bedroom, chances are, you’re probably not on the lookout for another person to fill the whole, if you catch my drift. So if you’re fed up with dull, dull intercourse, look no further than your TV screen for an improvement. Happy viewing!